3 days…. .all with opportunities……should ibe proud?perhaps….. I alsochew and spat though… ugggggggggggggggggg……. but I pooped today. small things…. god I am pathetic…

on the bright side its the first time in……….3 and a half??? years that ive weighed in for TWO consecutive days at under 140……….. again……. pathetic


I want to be normal ….. It’s been 48 hrs of success ….. Can I keep it up????

Is success mean its ok to chew spit “we’ll” vs chew spit puke ? Or hew sit gain ? Shit…..

And I know it’s also bad that I want to see the 130 s…… Only like 5 more but I’ve been here forever !!


9413) This disorder is making a grumpy bitch. I hate the person it’s turning me into.


Lets make today a GOOD day…… Please???


Addie is so freaking effective at stopping my binge slash purge thoughts ….. I uggggggh


Fuckl… I hate being so messed
Up….. It’s totally NOT ok …


I suck

Bf lost his job. Is around ALL the time now!!! Now I’m fully into the chew - spit - attempt to puke if possible phase…….I LITERALLY have been trough EVERY form of this disease by now…. And that is NOT a good thing …….


9085) This needs to stop. I’m lying to everyone.


9089) I am in a constant battle between restricting and binging. A war between “you deserve to eat” and “you need to starve”.

YES


9139) I say I’m in recovery and I really want to believe it. I fool myself a lot of the time. But, it’s just a lie. I still obsess over food and the amount I’m eating. I freak out when I gain weight. I cried because I gained X pounds when I weighed myself while I was on my period. This is not recovery and I don’t know who I’m trying to fool anymore.